They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
These tits shall not be calmed
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