I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
Randomize
