it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
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