Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Randomize
