i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
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