It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
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