Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
Randomize
