i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
Randomize
