I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
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