"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
Randomize
