just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
Randomize
