I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
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