Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
Randomize
