So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
TSA doesn’t allow handcuffs in carryon bags. Super fun they confiscated them in front of my boss and coworker.
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