Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
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