Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
Randomize