"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
