Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
Randomize