1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
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