Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover.
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
Randomize
