You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
my sisters under your porch take her home
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
Randomize