its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
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