Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
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