even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
Randomize
