He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
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