hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
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