I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
I'm currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
just to let you know, that was probably the funniest text i've ever received.
I suppose that kind of helps fill the void where my self respect used to be.
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
Randomize
