I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
Randomize
