She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
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