I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
the only reason he called me tonight was because I fertilized his crops on farmville.
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
Randomize
