My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
Randomize
