Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
I am mentally ready for anal.
Randomize
