i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
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