they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
Randomize
