I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
That was before I lit my hair on fire
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