Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
Randomize
