Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
Dude, I woke up in the kitchen, naked, with a blueberry bagel as a pillow.
Can I eat your pillow?
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
Randomize
