He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
Randomize
