no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
Randomize
