Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
Randomize
