Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
