I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
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