Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
