Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
