I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
I want to fling myself into the sun
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
Randomize
