And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
Randomize
