Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
Randomize
