Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
Randomize