No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
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