For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
Randomize
