I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
Randomize
