you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
Randomize
