Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
