You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
Randomize
