So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
So I just found out that my mom and dad arent married
What? They have three kids?
Yep. And apparently I have a half brother. Happy Birthday to me
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
Randomize
