I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
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