Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
