when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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