Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
Randomize
