You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
