What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
