can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
The convent might be a nice break from real life
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
Randomize
