i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
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