He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
wakey wakey hands off snakey
it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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