we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
Randomize
