And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Randomize
