his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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